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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29317662">I Love A Woman Who Can Kick My Ass</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalThespian/pseuds/DigitalThespian'>DigitalThespian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Sakura Futaba, Everyone Is Gay For Hifumi Togo, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Honorary Phantom Thief Hifumi Togo, Horny Teenagers, Implied/Referenced Sex, Lesbian Takamaki Ann, Light Angst, Minor Original Character(s), Nude Photos, Painting, Photo Shoots, Romance, Sexual Tension, Sub Sakamoto Ryuji, Team as Family, Texting, group chats, non-sexual nudity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:34:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,626</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29317662</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalThespian/pseuds/DigitalThespian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of scenes in which the Thieves talk through their feelings, be they romantic, grievous, or… “romantic”.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Niijima Makoto/Sakamoto Ryuji, Okumura Haru/Persona 5 Protagonist, Takamaki Ann/Togo Hifumi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. In Which Ryuji And Akira Are Oblivious, And Also Totally Whipped</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Despite the tags, there's not that much actual reference to sex, nudes, etc; it's just that there isn't a tag to denote personality quirks or passing references rather than story content. It's talked about in chapter three, but not in much detail.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It’s what it says on the tin, with some bonus Ryuji Deserved Better time thrown in for good measure.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Skull?”</p><p>“Y-Yes Queen?”</p><p>Ann sighed. “You’re the type to end up under a woman’s thumb someday, huh?”</p><p>Ryuji crammed his hands in his pockets, stomping a foot at her. “Yeah, and? I know what I’m about, so what?”</p><p>“…is that so, Ryuji.” Queen’s voice was quiet and dangerous, and the rest of the group shivered.</p><p>“Y-You uh, used my real name.” Ryuji ducked his head, almost afraid to mention it.</p><p>Makoto clapped her hands over her mouth. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry! I won’t let it happen again!” She looked down, stomping a foot with a pout. “Ugh, and I should know better, too…”</p><p>Ryuji blinked at the sudden shift, then grinned easily. “Hey, that’s alright. Everybody messes up sometimes. Hell, I thank my lucky stars it was you what heard me open my big mouth way back when.”</p><p>Akira raised an eyebrow. “That was less than a month ago.”</p><p>“Eh, time is made up anyway.”</p><p>Makoto giggled. “That is true. Thanks, Skull.” She squared her shoulders, and Queen was back. “Now, I think it’s high time we kicked some ass. I’ll take the lead for the opening stretch.”</p><p>As she stalked towards the piggy bank statue, Ryuji stared after her, unmoving. “…<em>God</em> that’s hot,” he blurted.</p><p>Makoto blushed, pretending not to hear. “Skull, Joker, and Panther; you’re with me. Mona and Fox are on standby.”</p><p>Akira nodded. “Roger.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“So what now, miss post-apocalyptic raider?”</p><p>“Raider? I hardly know her,” Makoto replied absentmindedly, only realizing once the room descended into silence. “O-Oh, did I say that out loud…?”</p><p>Futaba wore a shit-eating grin. “Yep.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Something is bothering you, Ryu-kun!” Haru’s voice startled him out of his thoughts as he left the school. It wasn’t a question, which was… very like her from what he’d seen, actually. “I want to help; would you like to talk about it?”</p><p>“You sure about this? You don’t gotta take all this time just to listen to me bitch, I’m sure you got better shit to be doin’.” He kicked at the ground.</p><p>“Tell me about this issue of yours, Ryu-kun! I have nothing at all better to be doing then helping all of you; if it makes you feel better, you’re more than welcome to think of it as me paying you back for helping me with my father.” She beamed easily.</p><p>“Man, you don’t gotta thank me for that,” he mumbled.</p><p>“Then you don’t have to thank me for helping you with what’s troubling you!”</p><p>“…damn, you got me there. Alright; wanna hit up LeBlanc? Plus we can chat up Akira while we’re there, he always has a good take on things.”</p><p>Haru nodded excitedly, and the two started walking. “He does indeed! I find myself trying to follow his example more often now, he’s really quite something!”</p><p>“You can say that again.” Ryuji nodded idly.</p><p>“He’s really quite something!”</p><p>Ryuji snorted. “It’s just a sayin’—” He looked over to see Haru grinning at him. “You’re just fuckin’ with me!”</p><p>“You just make it so easy!”</p><p>“<em>Brutal</em>,” Ryuji laughed.</p><p>“Well, stop underestimating me, and the pain will lessen,” Haru giggled.</p><p>Ryuji looked at her for a moment. “You’re scary, you know that? I don’t mean that like, in a mean way, but like…”</p><p>“I know what you mean; it’s a compliment, really!”</p><p>“You’re right though; I’m sorry for still underestimatin’ ya in some ways. I’ll try to keep reminding myself that you kick just as much ass as the rest of us.”</p><p>They boarded the train, riding largely in silence due to the noise. After a ride filled with noisy passengers, far too much jostling, and a guy who really needed a shower—like, <em>dude</em>—they arrived in Shibuya.</p><p>They got off at the platform just as the train to Yongen was leaving. “…Well shit,” Ryuji sighed.</p><p>Haru giggled. “That’s alright! We can get a snack and talk while we wait!”</p><p>“Man, I’m really glad you’re not on my case all the time like that damn cat…” Haru started to protest, but stopped when Ryuji let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what his deal is; yeah, I’m abrasive and junk, and I’m not always the quickest on the uptake, but he’s always been <em>like this</em>!!” He let out a growl of frustration, and they began to walk to their platform. “One of the first things he did was call me a ‘vulgar ape’! And it wasn’t just that one time! You know who else called me that? <em>Kamoshida’s freakin’ Shadow!!</em>”</p><p>He sighed, calming himself down again. “Like, I’d get why everyone was mad if I’d started it way back when, but I didn’t! And even if I <em>had</em>; I’d almost just gotten executed and then seen Akira’s Awakening! Cut me some slack for maybe not bein’ the most mindful!”</p><p>Haru was quiet a moment. “I’m sorry, Ryuji. I had only heard Mona’s side of the story, and I hadn’t stopped to get yours. Can you forgive me?”</p><p>Ryuji was shocked. “H-Huh? Y-Yeah, I mean, of course I can.” He scratched his head, clearly unsure of what to say.</p><p>“You don’t <em>have</em> to say that if you don’t want to; it’s okay to be hurt. You’ve all taught me that we have to be true to ourselves, so I want you to be true to how you feel,” she smiled gently, “even if it isn’t what I want to hear.”</p><p>“…it just… hurts, ya know? Bein’ seen as the ‘dumb brawny guy’ of the team and havin’ everyone <em>assume</em> I’m not gonna get it, or that I’m gonna eff it up, ya know?”</p><p>“May I put a hand on your shoulder, Ryuji?” He looked at her, surprised, then nodded. She did so, gently squeezing. “I know I have the utmost faith in you, and I know the others do too; we all have our biases, however, and I know that must hurt. If you feel that I or one of the others are being unfair, please say so. I promise I will stop and consider, and if I’m present, will ask the others to do so as well.”</p><p>“Thanks, Haru. You’re a real sweet girl; you and Akira make a good pair.”</p><p>“W-What?!” Haru recoiled in surprise. “I-I don’t…” She didn’t continue, hiding her face in her hands.</p><p>“Aw jeez, I’m sorry…” Ryuji scratched his head awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to assume, it just seemed like you guys just… I dunno, clicked?”</p><p>“I feel we did, so we’re at least in agreement there…”</p><p>She was saved by any further awkwardness by the train pulling up.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Haru was beginning to regret agreeing to come to LeBlanc, because she couldn’t stop thinking about their <em>stunning</em> leader, looking all handsome making coffee behind the counter—</p><p>She shook herself out of it. “So; you had something on your mind? Or did we cover it?”</p><p>“That wasn’t it, but damn if it didn’t need talked about, so I owe ya one there.”</p><p>She giggled. “Nonsense! Anyway, what’s the other mysterious problem?”</p><p>“Promise you won’t laugh.” Ryuji blushed.</p><p>Haru put a hand to her heart, holding up the other. “I hereby swear that I won’t laugh at you; if I do laugh, it will be because something struck me oddly, not any sort of ridicule.”</p><p>Akira piped up from behind the counter. “Me too. Also nice disclaimer, Haru. I’m totally stealing that.”</p><p>She blushed, but gestured for Ryuji to continue.</p><p>He sighed. “So like—aw, man, this feels totally lame after that last conversation… so I have the hots for Makoto-senpai, but I don’t have a chance in <em>hell</em> with a girl like her…”</p><p>Haru bristled. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>Ryuji shot her a confused look. “What?”</p><p>“If you’re suggesting Mako-chan can’t handle a little rough-and-tumble—”</p><p>He held up a hand. “Imma stop you there; I saw her stomp a crater into a tile floor and then bust through the front door of Kaneshiro’s Palace on a magic Personabike. I know Queen can handle a scrap. Hell, prolly—nah, eff that, <em>definitely</em> better’n I can.”</p><p>Now Haru looked confused. “My apologies; I just get defensive since it bothers her so much. But if that’s not it, then what’s the issue?”</p><p>“Whaddya mean?! She’s… <em>amazing</em>, and… I’m not. I’m just… Ryuji Sakamoto, the Track Traitor,” he scoffed. “Even if she <em>did</em> like me, we couldn’t go out anyway without it killin’ her good rep.”</p><p>Akira smiled fondly. “Ryuji, you’re a big, lovable dumbass, you know that, right?”</p><p>“<em>Akira</em>!” Haru sounded scandalized. “He may be self-deprecating,” she pointed at Ryuji a moment, an eyebrow raised, “which we <em>will</em> be coming back to,” she put her fists on her hips, staring Akira down again. “But he is being considerate of her circumstances, and I’ll not have you insult him for that!”</p><p>Ryuji was floored. “Holy shit, Haru, you didn’t have to—”</p><p>“…No, she’s right. That was out of line. You’re worried, and you came to us and confided in us, and I called you a dumbass. I’m sorry, Ryuji. We have enough bullshit to deal with, we don’t need to be bottling this stuff up. Thank you for saying something, Haru.” Akira shot Ryuji a thumbs up. “I’ve got your back, bro.”</p><p>“Aw, man, you had to go and get all sappy on me!” Ryuji couldn’t hide a smile, despite his words.</p><p>“But Ryuji, you listen here.” Ryuji’s head whipped around to look at Haru. “You are wonderful. You hear me? You love your mother and your friends unashamedly, and you stand up for what you believe in. You try your best; who cares if you get it right every time? What matters is that when everything is on the line… Ryuji Sakamoto will <em>always</em> try.”</p><p>Ryuji choked up. “<em>Dude</em>.” He rubbed at his eyes. “Thanks, guys.” He smiled sheepishly. “You’re the best.”</p><p>“And you helped us get here. We’re all in this together.”</p><p>“So,” Haru had a twinkle in her eye, “you’ve taken a liking to Mako-chan, have you?”</p><p>He laughed once. “Man, you have no idea; I saw her on that bike the first time and it was like seeing a whole new person.” He paused. “Well, I guess I kinda was, in a way. You get what I mean. She’s… incredible. I don’t know how she even does half the shit she does, and she does twice as much as me on top of that!”</p><p>“Oh wow. You’ve got it bad, dude. I’m extra sorry for calling you a dumbass; it’s no wonder you were worried.”</p><p>“You’re telling me,” he sighed.</p><p>“Why don’t you ask her out?”</p><p>Ryuji nearly choked. “What?! She’d laugh me out of town!”</p><p>Haru tilted her head. “Do you really think so little of her?”</p><p>He stopped. “I… hadn’t thought of it like that. Shit, now I feel like an asshole… you’re right, she wouldn’t ridicule me, she’d probably just say she was flattered but not interested.”</p><p>“<em>If</em> she turned you down; she <em>could</em> say yes, you know.” Akira smiled.</p><p>“…you really think she’d be into a guy like me?”</p><p>“There’s only one way to find out!” Haru held up her phone and pressed ‘Call’.</p><p>“Dude! I am <em>so</em> not ready for that!!”</p><p>“Wow, Haru, you’re savage.”</p><p>“Haru, seriously, I am not ready to have this conversation!”</p><p>“…<em>was that Ryuji?”</em> Ryuji made a strangled noise as he cut himself off.</p><p>“It was! I’m having a lovely chat with Akira and Ryuji, and I was wondering if you could drop by to discuss something with us regarding conduct among Thieves!”</p><p>“…<em>What happened. Ryuji, what did you do?”</em></p><p>Ryuji simultaneously shrunk in on himself and lashed out. “Why you gotta assume it was <em>me?!</em>”</p><p>“<em>You—”</em> There was a small sigh. “<em>You’re right. That was unnecessary. I’m sorry, Ryuji. I’ll be there before five, okay? See you guys soon.”</em></p><p>“See you soon!” Haru hung up. “There! Now we can ease your mind about her opinion of you, and then you can either confess or not depending on how you feel.”</p><p>“…thanks, Haru. You’re the best.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Makoto fidgeted nervously on the train. She wanted to text Ryuji to apologize—she had only meant to tease, and had spoken without thinking about how it would affect him specifically. But she also didn’t want to seem desperate for his approval, for a variety of reasons. She was done frantically seeking acceptance from others.</p><p>…but she couldn’t lie, Ryuji’s acceptance meant more to her than it should, and it was somewhat confusing.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="texting">
  <p>Intelligence Rogue: Charisma Rogue, I need your help. I want to text Ryuji to apologize, but I don’t want to come off poorly; what do I do?</p>
  <p>Charisma Rogue: Tongue in cheek answer: Roll knowledge, you’re an int rogue for a reason</p>
  <p>Charisma Rogue: Actual answer: Text him and just be honest. He hates decorum anyway.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>Makoto nodded to herself. Of course he wouldn’t care if it violated social norms. His whole delinquent ‘look’ violated social norms anyway; why should texting him be a big deal?</p><p> </p><p class="texting">Intelligence Rogue: Thanks.</p><p> </p><p>She opened a thread with Ryuji.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="texting">
  <p>Makoto Nijima added Ryuji Sakamoto!</p>
  <p>Makoto Nijima changed their name to “We’re Not In Australia Anymore, Mako”!</p>
  <p>We’re Not In Australia Anymore, Mako: I would like to apologize.</p>
  <p>Ryuji Sakamoto: APOLOGY ACCEPTED</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>She made a confused face. She hadn’t said anything yet…?</p><p>Her phone beeped again, signaling a message from a different thread.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="texting">
  <p>Charisma Rogue: I don’t know what you said, but I haven’t seen him laugh this freely since right after we kicked Shadow Kamoshida’s ass,</p>
  <p>Charisma Rogue: Nicely done. &lt;thumbs-up emoji&gt;</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>Makoto was incredibly confused; was it her changing her <em>username</em>?</p><p>She hadn’t thought it was <em>that</em> clever…</p><p> </p><p class="texting">Ryuji Sakamoto changed their name to “Pay No Attention To The Thieves Behind The Curtain”!</p><p> </p><p>She giggled, then blushed as she realized he had made a Wizard of Oz reference <em>back</em>.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><div class="texting">
  <p>We’re Not In Australia Anymore, Mako: I didn’t realize you liked ‘The Wizard of Oz’ that much.</p>
  <p>Pay No Attention To The Thieves Behind The Curtain: It’s a good movie, sure, but that Mad Max reference with it just knocked it outta the *park*!</p>
  <p>We’re Not In Australia Anymore, Mako: I’m glad you caught that, I was worried it wouldn’t be funny.</p>
  <p>Pay No Attention To The Thieves Behind The Curtain: It was hilarious, Prez!</p>
  <p>Pay No Attention To The Thieves Behind The Curtain: I woulda made mine a double-joke thing like yours but I’m not that clever</p>
  <p>We’re Not In Australia Anymore, Mako: I’m really, really sorry if I’ve made you feel like you’re not clever. You are clever, Ryuji.</p>
  <p>Pay No Attention To The Thieves Behind The Curtain: Thanks, Prez. :)</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><p>She covered her mouth with a hand, hiding an astonished grin. He still used the old-fashioned 90’s style character-based smiley faces, and for some reason this was unbelievably endearing to her.</p><p> </p><p class="texting">We’re Not In Australia Anymore, Mako: Any time, Ryuji.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Makoto walked into LeBlanc, and Akira waved her over to where the group were sitting. “Hey! Can I get you something to drink?”</p><p>“Something very strong.” Makoto sounded and <em>looked</em> exhausted; and yet she still managed to be the most beautiful thing Ryuji had ever seen.</p><p>He swallowed nervously, and Haru patted his hand with a reassuring smile; he didn’t notice the flash of disappointment that crossed Makoto’s face when she saw.</p><p>“So, I wanted to bring up concerns regarding the group’s treatment of Ryuji. Akira and I agree that we all trust each other with our very lives; so why are we so quick to assume Ryuji is at fault, or that he would ‘eff something up’, as he would say?”</p><p>“I… I don’t have a good answer for that.” Makoto set her bag down, then bent at the waist. “I’m sorry, Ryuji. For the way I’ve treated you, but also for not defending you. I have a duty as second in command to uphold; and that means supporting my team by any means necessary, not tearing them down.”</p><p>“Hey, Prez, you don’t—” He cut off, taking a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh. “Actually, yeah. Shit sucks. Haru said I gotta start letting myself admit that it sucks so I can be true to myself, and she’s right. I ain’t one to hold a grudge, so you’re forgiven, but I gotta acknowledge that yeah, there was something to forgive.”</p><p>Makoto looked up. “Ryuji.” She covered her mouth with a hand, holding her elbow. “I hadn’t… this business with Morgana has been going on for a lot longer than I thought, hasn’t it?”</p><p>Akira winced. “Pretty much since the beginning. I’ve tried to step in, but I’m not the best mediator since I have to house Morgana, so I have to maintain relations with him—” He sighed. “But that’s just an excuse, huh? I’m just passing that discomfort on to Ryuji instead of facing the discomfort of making Morgana own up to being an asshole.”</p><p>“What <em>is</em> Mona-chan’s problem with Ryuji?”</p><p>“No one knows. My best explanation had been their opposed Persona elements, but then Haru joined and torpedoed that theory. Ann and Yusuke argue a lot, so it held up at first, but now not so much.”</p><p>Haru beamed. “Well, if you have a dispute, Mona can stay with me! That way you can feel comfortable putting your foot down! I’d like to spend more time with him anyway.”</p><p>Ryuji snickered. “It’s like you two are negotiating for custody of your kid.”</p><p>“<em>Ryuji</em>!” Makoto hissed.</p><p>Akira laughed, and Haru looked at Ryuji pointedly. “It’s alright, Mako-chan, I don’t mind him joking around.”</p><p>Ryuji got the message; glass houses, and all.</p><p>She looked at Akira. “But if I’d known you’d be so bereft I would have offered you a guest room as well!”</p><p>Akira nearly choked. “Uh.” <em>Real subtle, dude</em>.</p><p>Makoto giggled. “If I didn’t know better, it almost sounds like you’re making a move, Haru.”</p><p>Haru’s questioning gaze flickered to Ryuji; presumably because she knew he could read Akira better than anyone. He gave her a moderately subtle thumbs-up, and she turned to Makoto with a curious expression. “What makes you say that?”</p><p>Makoto stopped short. “Well, er—I had just assumed that you and—” She cleared her throat nervously. “Alright, alright, I shouldn’t assume; stop teasing me!”</p><p>“I’m not.”</p><p>Akira and Makoto both stared at her in shock. “Huh?” Akira said dumbly.</p><p>Haru was deathly serious. “I’m not teasing. Why would you think it so impossible for me to being making a move on our dear leader?”</p><p>“Well—aren’t you and… Ryuji…?”</p><p>Ryuji recoiled in surprise. “Huh?! No way, man!” He quickly turned to Haru. “Oh, uh, nothin’ personal.”</p><p>She smiled. “I know; I’m just not your type! And that’s okay! Just like you aren’t mine.”</p><p>Ryuji was ever so slightly hurt for a moment, but it subsided as he realized Haru was turning to Akira with <em>intent</em>.</p><p>“My type is someone who’s dependable, and kind, and handsome.” She leaned closer ever so slightly. “You know what I mean, right Akira? Tall, dark, and handsome; perhaps even a dashing rogue of some variety!”</p><p>Everyone was staring at Haru for varying reasons. Makoto in surprise, Akira was carefully neutral; Ryuji was just proud.</p><p>That was smooth as <em>fuck</em>.</p><p>And then Akira smiled that wooden, fake smile, the one he wore when he didn’t want the team to know he was hurting. “I’m behind you all the way.” He thought he wasn’t good enough—somehow—and he was trying to hide it.</p><p>But Ryuji knew; he <em>always</em> knew. So when Haru deflated slightly at the apparent rejection, he knew he had to clear this up. “<em>Dude</em>.”</p><p>Akira looked at him quizzically. “What?”</p><p>Ryuji sighed. “Height and weight.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Height and weight, man.”</p><p>“I… one-seventy-nine centimeters, eighty-ish kilograms.”</p><p>“Hair color?”</p><p>“You can <em>see</em>—”</p><p>“Humor me.”</p><p>Akira sighed. “Black.”</p><p>“When was the last time you fell through on a promise?”</p><p>Akira looked at him strangely. “Before I moved here, unless I missed something.”</p><p>“And would you say you’ve helped us all out of some pretty serious shit <em>way</em> more than once, in the Metaverse and out?”</p><p>Makoto finally caught on, and Ryuji felt his stomach flip as she gave him a warm, gentle smile he had never seen before; let alone directed at <em>him</em>.</p><p>“Yeah? I guess?” Akira threw his hands up. “What are we even <em>talking</em> about?!”</p><p>“So, to recap, you’re fairly tall, you have dark hair, you’re a good looking guy with a solid build, you’ve never knowingly let anyone down since you moved here, and you’ve helped as many people as you could, some of which you did while being a dashing-as-hell real-life gentleman thief?”</p><p>“I… guess?”</p><p>Ryuji leaned back as though he was done, lacing his fingers together behind his head. “Alright, cool. I was just checkin’, since that’s <em>exactly</em> what Haru said her ‘type’ is and all.”</p><p>“<em>What</em>?!” Akira bore the brunt of the realization Ryuji had set him up for all at once. “Oh my god,” he looked at Haru, then pointed to himself, saying, “…Me?”</p><p>“Yes, you, you—you <em>bean</em>!”</p><p>Makoto giggled. “‘Bean’?”</p><p>“Well I wasn’t going to <em>actually</em> insult him; especially not while I’m trying to woo him!”</p><p>“‘Woo’?!” Akira was stunned.</p><p>“Yes, woo. And after you’re done making Mako-chan her coffee, if you’d be willing, I’d like to take you on a date.”</p><p>“God, <em>absolutely</em>.” He finished the cup, setting it in front of Makoto with all the decorum it deserved; he then immediately discarded the apron on the counter as he walked around. “I’ll do the dishes later; I’ve already been waiting too long for this.”</p><p>“Oh!” Haru flushed. “I didn’t realize you felt so strongly!” She stood, taking his arm and beaming up at him. “Shall we, Joker?”</p><p>He gave her a warm smile. “I think we shall, Noir.”</p><p>Ryuji grinned. “Way to go, guys! We’re rooting for ya!”</p><p>The new couple drifted out of the store, waving their goodbyes.</p><p>It was only as the bell chimed to signal their departure that he realized this left him alone with Makoto. And Akira had left, so he’d flipped the sign to ‘Closed’.</p><p>Ryuji was suddenly incredibly nervous. “So, uh… how’s the coffee?”</p><p>Makoto let out a long sigh. “I needed it, honestly. Looks like today’s good for a lot of reasons, huh?” She looked at him fondly out of the corner of her eye, and he blushed. “That was well done, by the way. Only you would have been able to tell Akira was putting on a front.” She was quiet a moment. “…He almost broke her heart without even knowing.”</p><p>“I couldn’t just let that happen, ya know? Like… he’s so obviously crazy about her!”</p><p>“They make a good pair.”</p><p>There was silence for a while before Makoto spoke up again. “…Hey, Ryuji?”</p><p>“What’s up, Makoto?”</p><p>“…how do you cope with it when people just… don’t understand? When they think you’re just… one singular thing, and you feel like you can never escape the box that they’ve put you in…?”</p><p>“I mean… I just hit ‘em with the box.”</p><p>Makoto <em>laughed</em>; laughed like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard, and Ryuji was reminded yet again that there was no going back to the way things were before. “That’s such a <em>Ryuji</em> answer.”</p><p>“Hey!” He couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “What’s <em>that</em> mean?!”</p><p>“It’s deceptively simple; you really do just lean into your image and dare them to stop you, you use their label as a weapon. If you wear it proudly, lord it over <em>them</em>, they lose their power over <em>you</em>. All of that was in your answer, but it was in the subtext.”</p><p>“I’ll take your word for it, I’m no good with all that junk.”</p><p>She turned to face him completely, and he gulped. “That’s what I mean when I say you’re clever. Just because you can’t put words to something doesn’t mean it’s not there.”</p><p>“T-Thanks, Prez.”</p><p>“…Why do you call me that?”</p><p>“Huh? I… dunno. At first it was ‘cause ‘Nijima-senpai’ is a mouthful and ‘Prez’ is a title so I could get away with it.”</p><p>“…But now?” She prompted.</p><p>“I think it’s habit, mostly, but I’m also just real impressed that you can do all that stuff you gotta put up with, and deal with me and the Thieves.”</p><p>“I don’t ‘have to deal with you and the Thieves’; you’re all my friends, my teammates. I <em>care</em> about all of you.”</p><p>Ryuji smiled. “Thanks, Queen. I wasn’t trying to say you didn’t—”</p><p>“You were just trying to self-deprecate, and I won’t have it.” Makoto smirked. “I’m on to you, Ryuji.”</p><p>“Heh…” Ryuji scratched his head. “Sorry.”</p><p>“It’s okay; as long as you promise me you’ll do your best to stop from now on.”</p><p>Ryuji blinked. That got serious <em>fast</em>. “Uh. I want to say yes so you’re not mad at me but I don’t trust myself not to forget and I really don’t wanna go back on my word ‘cause then you’ll <em>really</em> be mad.”</p><p>“Then how about this; if you catch yourself—or <em>get</em> caught—putting yourself down, you have to text me something you like about yourself.”</p><p>“Wha—that feels really weird!”</p><p>She wilted slightly. “Oh, it does? I’m sorry, I don’t really have the best grasp on this sort of thing either…”</p><p>He was struck again by just how many similarities there really were between them. “I just feel weird tootin’ my own horn like that.”</p><p>Makoto gave him an understanding nod. “That’s perfectly understandable, and if it makes you uncomfortable I won’t make you.”</p><p>“…If you want me to, I can try, I guess? I dunno how well it’ll go, or maybe I’m a coward trying to give myself an out, but hey.”</p><p>“I look forward to… oh. Hm. I guess there’s no way for me to know if it’s working unless you catch all of them, because on my end you forgetting or being embarrassed looks the same as you not self-deprecating, so I should be looking forward to <em>not</em> hearing from you, but that’s just not true at all.” Makoto halted her nervous ramble, probably hoping he hadn’t noticed the last part.</p><p>He had. “You… <em>look forward</em> to hearing from me?”</p><p>“I… hadn’t ever actually thought about it, but… yes.” She blushed lightly. “I do enjoy hearing what you have to say.”</p><p>“<em>Why</em>?”</p><p>“Ryuji,” she warned.</p><p>He put up his hands. “I just wanna know, that’s all! Like, I don’t get why I’m interesting to you <em>specifically</em>, I get why I get along with Akira; but everything I know about how people’re supposed to get along tells me <em>we</em> shouldn’t, but we do!”</p><p>“I… didn’t realize you’d thought about it that much.”</p><p>“I get… nervous, I guess? I just can’t help but think that someday this is all gonna just… leave me behind. And I know you guys wouldn’t do that, but it doesn’t stop me from <em>thinkin</em>’ it’ll happen, ya know?”</p><p>“I <em>swear</em> I won’t let that happen to you.” Makoto looked as serious as he had ever seen her, and he swallowed.</p><p>This girl was gonna be the death of him, and he almost didn’t mind.</p><p>“I—uh, appreciate it? Man,” he laughed, “I feel like I should have something really heartfelt to say but I got nothing.”</p><p>“It got you to smile again, that’ll have to do.”</p><p>“…Man, what’s gotten into you, Makoto?” He got up, slipping into a seat at the bar next to her. “You’re not usually this…”</p><p>She raised an eyebrow. “Laid-back?”</p><p>“Sappy.”</p><p>“Oh. Is… that bad?”</p><p>Ryuji blushed slightly. “I don’t mind.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Makoto looked over at him, trying to piece together why she got this odd feeling; he wasn’t even doing anything, he was just staring resolutely down at the counter with that cute blush on his face—</p><p><em>Oh</em>. She was in love with him.</p><p><em>Duh</em>.</p><p>She was in love with Ryuji.</p><p>It wasn’t scary, or shocking; she just… knew. She loved him; she had for a while now.</p><p>“I don’t mind,” he had said.</p><p>“Thank you for confiding in me, Ryuji. It means a lot.”</p><p>She was in love with Ryuji ‘Skull’ Sakamoto.</p><p>“…Can I ask you something dumb, Makoto?”</p><p>“No, but you may ask me something perfectly reasonable that you <em>think</em> is dumb,” she teased, but the accompanying smirk died when she saw the way he watched her every move, the way he <em>looked</em> at her. Her fading smirk left only a gentle smile in its place.</p><p>She loved Ryuji.</p><p>“…Can I take you out on a date?”</p><p>Without a moment’s hesitation, she shot him a lopsided grin. “<em>Hell</em> yes.”</p><p>She barely held in a laugh when he nearly toppled off his chair in surprise. “Wha—you said yes?!?”</p><p>“No, I said hell yes, there’s a difference.”</p><p>“Uh. I, uh. I wasn’t expectin’ to get this far, I’ll be honest.”</p><p>Makoto reached out tentatively and took his hand. “And here I was worrying you’d think I was some kind of emotionless robot.”</p><p>“No way! You kick so much ass!” Ryuji grinned, and she giggled.</p><p>“You’re very fixated on that; are you saying you enjoy watching me fight?”</p><p>“Uh. Is this a test?”</p><p>“No, Ryuji. I will tell you if it’s a test.”</p><p>“Oh, good. Then yeah, I absolutely do, ‘cause it’s super hot.”</p><p>She snorted. “I’m touched that you take my word so seriously about it not being a test, but you really don’t have any tact, do you?”</p><p>He looked down. “I’m not exactly subtle, I know.”</p><p>She squeezed his hand. “That’s okay, even as a thief. Subtlety may not be your strength, but subterfuge itself isn’t out of reach. Even if the most obvious example is being a distraction.”</p><p>“Ooh, I’m good at that! I had that job at Madarame’s Palace!”</p><p>“I’m sorry?”</p><p>“Yeah, I lured them away so Mona could get lowered down on a crane to snag the treasure like Mission Impossible! Except the treasure ended up being a fake, but you know… the plan worked great, and it was awesome!”</p><p>“…who was your backup? Was it Fox?”</p><p>“Nah, he was up top to untie Mona, Panther was at the booth to cut the power, and Joker was at the crane controls.”</p><p>“You went alone?! What were you thinking, what if something had happened?!”</p><p>“What other option did we have!?” Ryuji quieted. “I did what I had to, you know?”</p><p>Makoto’s thoughts rushed out before she could stop them. “I know, but it still scares me that my orders might get one of you killed!” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Especially you; as a front line fighter I’m constantly asking you to put yourself in danger.”</p><p>“…I ain’t dyin’ while I got a Queen to protect.”</p><p>She looked up at him suddenly, and her heart leapt into her throat. “<em>Ryuji</em>.”</p><p>“Maybe that’s too much, maybe I’m bein’ overdramatic, but I didn’t get this far by hidin’ how I feel and I ain’t gonna start now.”</p><p>Makoto stared a moment, before abruptly standing up and grabbing him by the collar. “Kiss me.”</p><p>“W-Whoa, are you—”</p><p>She raised her eyebrows slightly and jerked him closer ever so slightly, but sharply enough to make a point. “Did I fucking stutter?” Despite her firmness, she was careful to keep her tone free from any hostility or sharpness; that wasn’t the goal here.</p><p>“N-No ma’am!”</p><p>She pressed their lips together, running her fingers through his hair. She pulled away enough to huff out a “good boy,” before she continued.</p><p>After a while the two separated, panting. Ryuji stared in awe at his Queen. “Holy shit; where did <em>that</em> come from?”</p><p>“You said I’m your Queen, didn’t you?” She smiled down at him. “A Queen takes care of her subjects. But she also demands loyalty,” Makoto trailed a finger along his jaw, smirking to herself as he tilted his head back before letting her fingers wrap loosely around his neck, “and <em>obedience</em>.” Ryuji shivered, but he made no attempt to get away. He let his eyes slide closed, and Makoto marveled at how pliant he was when it was <em>her</em> holding the reins. “You actually enjoy following orders, don’t you?” She smirked.</p><p>Ryuji didn’t open his eyes. “Just yours.”</p><p>And just like that, he had shattered the feeling of being in control; here she stood, her fingers closed lovingly around a boy’s throat, and he still managed to have her on the back foot. “I—uh—”</p><p>“Sorry, too much…?”</p><p>Makoto managed to slip Queen’s mask back on. “No, I was just surprised. I want you to tell me how you feel. And don’t you <em>dare</em> lie.”</p><p>“I think… I think I fell in love with you, Makoto. I’m bad with describing stuff; but you’re smoking hot, you’re a genius, you won’t take bullshit lying down, and you’ve got good taste in music.”</p><p>“I think I’ve fallen in love with you, too, Ryuji.” Makoto kissed him gently. “Thank you for being honest.”</p><p>He smiled up at her with a dazed expression. “This is the best day of my <em>life</em>.”</p><p>She giggled. “How do you know? You haven’t lived it all yet.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I just got to realize how many days I might get to spend with you, and it’s gonna be pretty hard to top that.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. In Which Hifumi Becomes An Admiral, And Ann Is Very Gay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hifumi and Ann have a photoshoot together. <br/>This is exactly as gay as it sounds.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Fun fact: the working title for this entire fic was “Hifumi is a gay pirate” because of this scene.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Did he really say that?!” Ann was across from her, enjoying a milkshake and looking for all the world like the movie Grease had just dumped her out onto that diner seat. “That’s so <em>romantic</em>…! I’m so proud, I didn’t know he had it in him! He’s usually too stubborn and prideful.”</p><p>“Really? He was rather open with me.”</p><p>Ann snorted. “That’s because you’re terrifying.”</p><p>Makoto felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. “…what?” No, she couldn’t have made such a stupid mistake, she <em>couldn’t</em>!</p><p>Had she… <em>bullied</em> Ryuji into this…?</p><p>“I-I—oh god. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to intimidate him into doing this, I promise!”</p><p>“Whoa! Makoto, slow down! Ryuji is a weirdo who’s into that, you didn’t coerce him or something.”</p><p>Makoto blushed furiously. “Ah. Of course, how silly of me, right?”</p><p>“No, it shows that you care, like, <em>so</em> much! We’re lucky to have you, Makoto; and Ryuji especially.”</p><p>“T-Thanks, Ann. I’m glad to have your support.”</p><p>“No problem!”</p><p>“You know, I never thought the <em>actual</em> fashion model would be the only single girl in the Thieves,” Makoto giggled.</p><p>Ann gaped at her. “Haru has a boyfriend?!” A pause. “Or girlfriend,” she amended.</p><p>“I… thought you knew. Oh dear. I probably shouldn’t have said anything…”</p><p>“No way, I need deets, girl! Who is it?!”</p><p>“…it’s Akira, actually.”</p><p>“<em>AWW!</em> That’s so <em>cute</em>! They’re gonna have the cutest most famous family coffeeshop in the world, I just <em>know</em> it!”</p><p>“I appreciate your enthusiasm; I’ll admit I was a little worried about causing tension.”</p><p>“No way, are you kidding? I’ve been trying to figure out if Akira was after Hifumi Togo for <em>weeks</em>,” Ann grinned, flashing her signature peace sign. “We have a shoot together soon, actually!” She pantomimed aiming a rifle. “I’ve had her in my sights for a while, but now,” she reached up to flip an imaginary switch by where the scope would be, “the safety’s off!”</p><p>Makoto watched this with a bemused smile. “That was… adorable. You’ll have to tell me how it goes.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Is that a <em>fashion magazine</em>? Not your usual fare.”</p><p>Hifumi quickly closed the magazine, setting it on her lap with her hands covering it. She blushed. “Er…”</p><p>“Oh hey, that’s the May edition! My friend Ann is in that one!”</p><p>Hifumi stared in disbelief. “Ann… Takamaki? The blonde, part-American girl?”</p><p>“One-fourth, if you were curious.”</p><p>“You’re on a given name basis with Ann Takamaki.”</p><p>“Yeah, she sits in front of me in class.”</p><p>Hifumi blinked. <em>I wish <strong>I</strong> got to stare at her all day in class…</em></p><p>Akira smirked. “Hey now, I don’t <em>stare</em>, I have a lady of my own.”</p><p>“<em>Oh</em> my goodness did I say that out loud…?”</p><p>“I could introduce you, you know.”</p><p>Hifumi squeaked. “I’ve worked in fashion myself, the issue isn’t a lack of opportunity, per se…” she hid her face in her hands, “…she’s just so beautiful that it’s sort of intimidating.”</p><p>Akira whistled. “Wow, you’ve got it bad, huh?”</p><p>Hifumi just groaned, and he laughed.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Hey! You’re Hifumi Togo, right?” Ann stuck out a hand, beaming. “I’m Ann Takamaki, I’m looking forward to working with you! I’ve heard so much about you from Akira, so I’m super excited that I get to see for myself!”</p><p>“I… am,” Hifumi said slowly, and shook the offered hand, wondering how this girl could possibly manage to look <em>better</em> in person. “I hope he’s said good things?”</p><p>“Definitely! He says you’re like, a super Shogi nut—but not in a creepy-obsessive way, like, in an endearing, <em>passionately</em> obsessive way.”</p><p>“That’s… good…?” She really wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but she felt oddly touched that her passion for the game was what Akira found most relevant, rather than her—apparently not actually existent—skill.</p><p>“Yeah! Come on, let’s go see what the photographers have for us!”</p><p>Ann caught Hifumi’s hand, dragging her along, and it felt like she was on fire where their hands met.</p><p>They arrived at the dressing room, and Hifumi gulped. She had forgotten that this would likely involve needing to undress in front of <em>Ann Fucking Takamaki</em>, also known as the most stunning woman on the <em>planet</em>—</p><p>Hifumi shook herself out of it. She was a professional, she could do this. They walked into the dressing room, and the photographer rushed over. “Oh, I’m glad to have you both! This is exciting, I have so many bold ideas to help you make a <em>statement</em>.”</p><p>Hifumi looked at the two racks of clothing; one was half men’s, it seemed? “I’ll try not to disappoint.”</p><p>“Aww, come on Togo-chan, you’ll do great!” She turned to the rack of clothes, and the photographer hustled out, leaving only the two of them.</p><p>Hifumi blushed as she heard Ann’s skirt hit the ground. “They’re numbered; I can never remember what’s next otherwise.”</p><p>“Got it.” Hifumi pulled the outfit labeled ‘one’.</p><p>It was a royal blue waistcoat with gold trim and epaulettes, a gold vest with a royal blue brocade, a white puffy-sleeved dress shirt, and tan breeches. Or were they trousers? Regardless, it was very… different; but she was excited to try something different.</p><p>And maybe to see what Ann had been given to pair with it.</p><p>She quickly undressed, pulling on the shirt and trousers. She was going to call them trousers, and that was that. She noted with mixed feelings that the outfit left no room for additional layers, and also that there was no necktie of any sort, meaning the collar hung very loosely.</p><p>More accurately, the vest holding the shirt in place was the <em>only</em> thing keeping the shirt from attempting to entirely abandon its job of preserving her modesty. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and had to admit that she did look pretty good, even if she was far more exposed than she’d like without the vest on.</p><p>On a spur of the moment decision, she grabbed her phone and snapped a photo in the mirror. She wasn’t going to get to keep the outfit, after all, she told herself.</p><p>She pulled on the vest, and was about to pull on the coat when she saw a note pinned to the inside. “‘Coat on after accessory,’” she mumbled to herself.</p><p>She was startled by a gasp from Ann. “Oh my god, you look <em>hot</em>!”</p><p>Hifumi blushed, still not looking over. She didn’t want to violate her privacy, it definitely wasn’t because she was incredibly embarrassed, or anything else of the sort. “Y-You really think so?”</p><p>“Hell yeah! Let’s see with the coat on.”</p><p>“It says I need an accessory first?”</p><p>“Oh, the rack is by the door, ‘cause they usually go on last.”</p><p>Hifumi went to the rack, and found the ones tagged ‘one’.</p><p>It was a pair of tall boots… and a sword belt, <em>with a sword</em>; and one with a decent weight to it at that. She drew it slightly—noting that it wasn’t sharp, thank goodness, as she had no clue how to use it. She slung it over her shoulder, adjusting it to sit properly at her hip, then put the coat on over it. She turned back to the mirror.</p><p>“Oh, man, the cameras are gonna <em>love</em> you.”</p><p>Hifumi stared back at the sharply dressed officer in the mirror. Neatly tailored, clean lines; and the sword hung perfectly on her hip as though it <em>belonged</em> there. “I’m… surprisingly inclined to agree.”</p><p>She turned to Ann and her mouth went dry. Off the shoulder puffy sleeves, an angled skirt, bare feet…</p><p>She was a tavern maid; or something of the sort.</p><p>A really, really <em>sexy</em> tavern maid.</p><p>…Hifumi was going to die of embarrassment, she was sure of it.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The entire crew stared at her, including the photographer. Hifumi began to feel self-conscious. “Is… everything alright?”</p><p>The photographer leaned over to mutter to an aide, never once looking away. “Go ahead and pack up the other outfits; we won’t be needing them.”</p><p><em>Oh dear, I’ve already screwed it up… </em>Hifumi felt her face burning.</p><p>She was startled out of her thoughts by Ann grabbing her arm. “This is incredible! I <em>told</em> you they’d love you!”</p><p>Most of the crew coughed and looked away sheepishly, and suddenly Hifumi realized that she <em>hadn’t</em> done something wrong.</p><p>They weren’t staring because she <em>didn’t</em> look good… everyone thought that she <em>did</em>. She felt an odd sense of pride, and this gave her the confidence she needed to slip easily into the role they wanted her to fill. She looked at Ann with an easy, devil-may-care smile. “Of course,” she said easily, then winked, and Ann blinked up at her in surprise, lips parted slightly. “Who doesn’t love a woman in uniform?”</p><p>She was vaguely aware of the click of a shutter, and more vaguely still of the fact she should be moving somewhere else.</p><p>The ship’s crew could wait. She had more… enjoyable matters to attend to. She pulled Ann close to her side.</p><p>The photographer could be heard yelling something about energy and connection. Ann flushed, licking her lips. “Hey there, sailor.”</p><p>“I think you mean Admiral,” Hifumi corrected with a twinkle in her eye. “And what brings a beauty like you to my ship’s cabin, hmm?”</p><p>An aide approached, attempting to usher them to the set. “You’re doing great, but we need you to move—”</p><p>He cut off as a swordpoint leveled itself mere inches from his nose.</p><p>“I’m busy, Ensign. Don’t interrupt me.”</p><p>He raised his hands, backing off. There was a flurry of activity, and Hifumi noted that the crew seemed to be bringing the set to her.</p><p>Good.</p><p>She sheathed her sword, then stroked Ann’s cheek tenderly. “Apologies, my dear.”</p><p>Ann blushed bright red, and Hifumi decided she could get used to this side of Ann. “You’re forgiven.” She swallowed. “May I drape my arms around your neck, Admiral?”</p><p>There was a near constant clicking sound as the photographer raced around to get different angles on the scene playing out. “You may indeed; in fact, I would be disappointed if you didn’t. I also wish to know your name. I can’t keep simply calling you ‘my dear’ forever,” Hifumi smirked, shooting Ann another wink, “at least… not <em>only</em> that.”</p><p>“Ann,” Ann was totally enraptured, turning to look up at her as she slipped her arms around Hifumi’s neck, “my name is Ann; but ‘my dear’ works just as well,” she breathed.</p><p>“Well, my dear Ann,” Hifumi noted the hitch in Ann’s breath with no small amount of pleasure, “I am Admiral Hifumi Togo of the Dragon Kingdom.”</p><p>Ann’s features broke into a grin. “You’re doing great, Admiral.” She pulled herself close, resting her chin on Hifumi’s shoulder and surreptitiously angling the two so that both their faces were in profile.</p><p>Hifumi looked down at her fondly, then her gaze flicked up to look straight at the camera. Her eyes burned, and her expression twisted into a rakish smirk that clearly said “<em>Just <strong>try</strong> and take her from me.</em>”</p><p>“Yes! Perfect! You are in the Zone, Admiral! Now, point your sword at the camera; declare your challenge to the world!”</p><p>Ann started to move, then squeaked as Hifumi whipped around to stare down her sword arm, blade leveled straight at the lens. Hifumi had pressed Ann tightly to her chest, and she held Ann close with a protective—bordering on possessive—arm around her shoulders.</p><p>Hifumi’s glare could melt steel, and her voice rang out through the park. “I will face what trials I must, for the good of my soldiers, and for the good of my loved ones! I will strike down anyone who dares harm me or my own, and face any who dare challenge me for Ann’s love!” She narrowed her eyes, and her voice lowered, <em>oozing</em> danger. “Just know that if you align yourself against me…”</p><p>She paused briefly for dramatic effect.</p><p>“<em>I will <strong>kill</strong> you. Where. You. <strong>Stand</strong>.</em>”</p><p>“Beautiful! The passion! The drama! The <em>fire</em>! Now, quickly; your ship has been beset by dastardly pirates!”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Ann saw Hifumi tense, and—in what must have been the strangest example of job cross-training <em>ever</em>—predicted the direction of her turn, swinging around to hide behind her.</p><p>Hifumi raised her sword defensively, one hand held out slightly to the side as if to shield Ann. “Stay here.”</p><p>Ann was confused. Where else would she be <em>going</em>?</p><p>Then Hifumi stood straight and proud, barking orders to direct her ‘crew’ in the defense of her ‘ship’.</p><p>She was aware Hifumi was saying things, and they were probably very dramatic and cool, but Ann couldn’t stop admiring her enough to listen.</p><p>She was very gay, and Hifumi had just treated her like a precious beautiful flower, and she just needed a minute to process how seeing Hifumi in that uniform made her feel, alright?</p><p>She watched Hifumi standing with her foot on a box, pointing her sword slightly above the horizon, and wondered. <em>What would Hifumi be like as a Phantom Thief…?</em></p><p>The photographer declared that the pirates had been defeated, and Ann prepared herself to resume the role—</p><p>—And then Hifumi was <em>right there</em> in front of her with a finger under her chin. She let Hifumi tilt her head back, basking in the presence of the girl who had captured everyone’s hearts. “Are you alright, my dear Ann? Are you hurt?”</p><p>Her mind blanked, and defaulted to the truth. “You were <em>incredible</em>.”</p><p>“I only did what needed to be done.” Hifumi smiled down at her, and she swallowed.</p><p>The photographer sounded very far away. “…<em>yes! the tension! marvelous!</em>…”</p><p>“Even still…” Ann was lost in the moment, completely drawn in by Hifumi’s utter commitment to the role. She licked her lips nervously, reaching up to gently grasp at Hifumi’s coat. “You saved me; how could I ever repay you?”</p><p>Hifumi leaned in slightly closer. “You needn’t repay me, I couldn’t let such a beautiful maiden come to harm.”</p><p>“If I may be so bold,” Ann’s lips parted slightly, “do you find yourself defending a lot of fair maidens?”</p><p>Hifumi lingered just a fraction of an inch away, and Ann bit her lip. She was <em>dying</em> from the anticipation. “<em>Just you</em>,” Hifumi whispered.</p><p>“Excellent! Absolutely <em>marvelous</em>! Thank you ladies so much for all your hard work!”</p><p>Hifumi pulled away abruptly, and Ann barely suppressed a whine. She had been so <em>close</em>…!</p><p>Hifumi bowed demurely. “I apologize if I got carried away.”</p><p>The photographer beamed. “You absolutely did, and it was wonderful! The best display of genuine emotion I’ve seen in years! You have a true talent, and a bright career ahead of you should you wish to pursue this style of shoot further!”</p><p>Hifumi blushed, covering her mouth. “Oh! I’ll… I’ll think about it, thank you.” She smiled gently. “I must be going, the fatigue of battle is beginning to catch up to me.”</p><p>The photographer laughed heartily, and as Hifumi made her way to the dressing room, Ann realized that if Hifumi <em>did</em> do another shoot like this…</p><p>…it really rubbed her the wrong way to think about another girl filling <em>her</em> role.</p><p>Ann entered the dressing room after Hifumi, only to stop short when she saw Hifumi lounging—still in her uniform—browsing her phone.</p><p>Then she noticed Hifumi had ditched the boots, and more notably the sword; that meant she actually had to have put the coat <em>back on</em>.</p><p><em>God</em> she was such a nerd, just like Akira, and it was <em>so</em> unfair how hot it was.</p><p>The third thing she noticed was that Hifumi had undone the top two buttons on her vest, leaving only the barest minimum of modesty. Ann blushed. This couldn’t possibly be what it looked like… right?</p><p>“Ah, Ann, my dear; thank you for joining me in my quarters.” Hifumi’s voice shot through her like lightning. “Would you come here? We were interrupted, and I find myself unable to stomach leaving such ragged loose ends.”</p><p>Ann nodded vacantly and drifted over to her in disbelief. “O-Of course.”</p><p>Hifumi looked at her very seriously. “I will be blunt: I want to do this again, and I don’t want to do it with anyone but you.”</p><p>Ann was floored. “You didn’t seem interested in his offer out there, so why—”</p><p>“Because he could only offer me a stage; without you, what role have I to play?”</p><p>Ah; Hifumi just naturally exuded this sort of confidence, and this morning’s nervousness was an exception. She should have expected nothing less from someone like Hifumi. “Y-Yeah, that totally makes sense! I’m glad being an Admiral protecting a maiden was such a good time.”</p><p>“Protecting <em>you</em>,” Hifumi corrected calmly.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I meant it when I said ‘just you’, out there.”</p><p>“<em>Arrrgh</em>!” Ann let out a frustrated scream, startling Hifumi. She stalked up to her, grabbing her by the collar and pulling her in. “Are you in love with me or not?! Is Hifumi in love with me, or Admiral Hifumi?!”</p><p>Hifumi raised an eyebrow, looking down the front of her—now <em>very</em> open—shirt, and looking back up with a smirk. “Why Ann, how forward of you.”</p><p>Ann let go abruptly. “Fine. I’ll go.” She turned and began to walk away.</p><p>“<em>Wait</em>!”</p><p>Ann stopped short, but didn’t look back.</p><p>“I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t think about how you didn’t…” Hifumi sighed. “I’m sorry. Hifumi and Admiral Hifumi are the same person, the latter just has the permission and the confidence to point a sword and shout orders, and woo pretty girls.”</p><p>Ann was frozen, trying not to hope.</p><p>“I don’t want to do this with anyone but you, because after this? I couldn’t hold anyone else like that without wishing it <em>was</em> you.”</p><p>Ann spun around, pointing a finger. “You better not just be saying that.”</p><p>“I’m not. Want me to prove it?” Hifumi held out her arms. “We were denied a kiss by fate’s cruel timing; but we of all people understand that fate can go to hell. A kiss can be yours should you want it.” She was blushing furiously, but she didn’t waver.</p><p>Ann was across the room and in her lap in an instant, hungrily pressing her lips to Hifumi’s. She broke away after a moment, panting. She grinned. “You said a kiss; does that mean you’re only giving me one?”</p><p>“I am a woman of my word,” Ann deflated, a hurt look on her face, before Hifumi continued, “but somehow I think stealing a kiss will be child’s play for someone of your skills.”</p><p>“H-Huh?!”</p><p>“You’ve already stolen my heart, my dear.” Ann let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. “…and with the help of a certain mutual friend of ours, my mother’s as well.”</p><p>“Wh—What?! I don’t know what you’re talking about!”</p><p>Hifumi pulled out her phone and sent a text.</p><p>“Who was that?”</p><p>“You’ll see.”</p><p>Ann’s phone pinged, and she pulled it out to find a message from Akira.</p><p>Joker: It’s okay. She knows.</p><p>Ann looked back up at her in shock. “Then you—”</p><p>“Know you’re a staunch advocate of justice and freedom, willing to lay down your life for a cause you believe in?”</p><p>Ann recoiled in surprise. “Uh. I-I suppose.”</p><p>“I know, Ann. It’s okay; I’ll take your secret to my grave, unless you tell me otherwise.”</p><p>“Do you <em>want</em> to tell people?”</p><p>“Well I already get to brag about my girlfriend being absolutely gorgeous, and passionate, and kind.”</p><p>Ann was blushing furiously. “<em>HIFUMI OH MY GOD!</em>”</p><p>“So I <em>suppose</em> I can survive keeping it to myself. I know you’re a badass ally of justice; that’s more than enough for me.”</p><p>“How do you just <em>say</em> stuff like that?! You’re worse than Akira!”</p><p>She wore a smug smile. “I learned from the best, but never let it be said that Hifumi Togo just copies others.”</p><p>An aide knocked on the door, then his voice drifted through. “Um… please don’t point your sword at me again, but we really do need you to finish up so we can pack up and leave.”</p><p>Ann giggled, and Hifumi blushed. “I am sorry about that, I just get very into character…”</p><p>He chuckled nervously. “It’s okay, it <em>was</em> pretty cool.”</p><p>“We are keeping these outfits though; it’s not like they fit anyone but us anyway.”</p><p>The aide sighed. “I’ll… go get the wardrobe manager.”</p><p>“If it makes you feel better, we’re also absolutely gonna do this again, so the outfits will be coming back eventually!” Ann’s voice was chipper.</p><p>“That… that does, actually, because now I have something to actually <em>say</em>.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. In Which Futaba Is Very Horny, And So Is Everyone Else</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Thieves are all very taken with Admiral Hifumi.<br/>Welcome to the Phantom Thieves, where sexuality is made up and social norms don't matter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The assembled Phantom Thieves looked down at the open magazine on the table of the hideout. Hifumi snarled back at them, one arm around a very smitten-looking Ann and a sword pointed directly at the viewer. The caption read ‘Forbidden Love On The High Seas!’</p>
<p>Morgana was the first to break the silence, but his response wasn’t what people expected. “Man, she’s just so <em>cool…</em>! I can’t even be upset that she’s stolen Lady Ann away from me—I mean us. Away from us.”</p>
<p>Everyone nodded vacantly. “She is… <em>very</em> dashing,” Haru murmured, a faint blush dusting her cheeks.</p>
<p>Akira nodded in awe. “…I think she might even be cooler than <em>Joker</em>.”</p>
<p>Ryuji clearly had something to say, but was restraining himself in front of Makoto.</p>
<p>Makoto shook her head with a smile. “Alright, alright, let’s not let this cause trouble among us. On the count of three, show of hands; who has a puppy crush on Hifumi now? In the interest of putting everyone at ease, I’ll go ahead and admit it myself.” Makoto raised her hand, a faint blush of her own forming. “One; two; three.”</p>
<p>Everyone’s hand went up, except Yusuke and Morgana.</p>
<p>Ryuji let out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god I felt like such a scumbag about likin’ that photo so much.”</p>
<p>Makoto giggled. “In this case it’s flattering, since it’s pretty much the same thing that made you fall for me, according to you.”</p>
<p>“‘I love a woman who can kick my ass.’” Akira and Futaba spoke at the same time, then high-fived without looking.</p>
<p>Haru lit up. “You should have said, Akira! I’ve been meaning to pick up kickboxing for a while now; we should spar together!” Haru seemed like a ray of sunshine incarnate, which only made the underlying meaning of her words all the more sinister.</p>
<p>“<em>God</em> I love you.”</p>
<p>“What is that quote from? It sounds very familiar…”</p>
<p>Futaba poked Yusuke in the head, and he swatted her hand away. “Cowboy Bebop, remember, the one with the bonsai trees in the spaceship!”</p>
<p>“Ah, yes; an interesting character to be sure.”</p>
<p>Futaba turned back to the group. “What I wanna know is—”</p>
<p>Akira covered her mouth. “Nope, not going there.” She licked his hand, but he was resolute. “I <em>literally</em> fought your inner demons; I am not bothered by you licking my hand.”</p>
<p>Futaba quickly typed something into her phone, and a voice read it out. “I will not be stopped in my quest to find out just how laid Ann got!”</p>
<p>“Very.” The room jumped at the newcomer’s voice. “She got very laid.” Hifumi smirked. “I see you all seem to be enjoying the article.”</p>
<p>Ryuji laughed nervously. “Yeah, totally!”</p>
<p>Makoto shook her head. “No, we were blatantly checking you out. You look good in uniform.”</p>
<p>Everyone gaped at Makoto, but Hifumi just laughed. “I’m flattered, really! Besides, I already knew; that’s a two page spread. The article starts on the next page. I appreciate your decorum nonetheless, however. So; who all knows who I actually am?”</p>
<p>Akira stood up. “Everyone; this is Hifumi Togo, codename ‘Shogun’. She was my main tactician after she embarrassed the hell out of me by figuring me out in two weeks. She also helped me manage my campaign, and my other confidants if needed. The Queen of behind the scenes, you could say.”</p>
<p>“She <em>knows</em>?!” Ryuji was shocked. “Holy shit, wait, did you have like a group of secret Phantom Thieves?”</p>
<p>“I was more like the Alfred to the Thieves’ Batman, I would say.”</p>
<p>“Wait, it <em>was</em> you—” Futaba pointed, and Akira clapped a hand over her mouth again. This time, he then deftly plucked her phone away, tossing it to Ryuji.</p>
<p>“Nope. Not going there either. Don’t make it weird.”</p>
<p>Ann’s voice drifted up the stairs. “Hifumi?”</p>
<p>She turned back to call down the stairs, and the joy and warmth in her voice washed over them. “Yes, my dear Ann?”</p>
<p>The room was collectively stunned. “…how does Ann <em>survive</em>?” Makoto blushed when everyone looked at her. “I don’t think my heart could take that.”</p>
<p>Ann poked her head up the stairs. “Well, you don’t have to worry,” she grinned at the assembled Thieves, “‘cause she’s <em>mine</em>.”</p>
<p>Futaba whistled. “Daaamn, get it, Ann!”</p>
<p>“What brings you here?”</p>
<p>“I was accompanying Ann home, and decided to stop in and say hi. Ann found out about my involvement, and it seemed unfair to hide it from all of you.” She ducked her head sheepishly. “…Plus I wanted to grandstand a little.”</p>
<p>“Dude, you’ll fit right in around here! We’re all hella dramatic in one way or another.”</p>
<p>Makoto pouted, crossing her arms. “I am not ‘dramatic’!”</p>
<p>The entire room looked at her, then—sans Hifumi—chorused, “<em>Fist of Justice!</em>”</p>
<p>Makoto covered her face. “I got excited, okay!?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, and we loved it! Bein’ dramatic ain’t always bad.”</p>
<p>Ann’s expression turned impish. “Speaking of dramatic; I have a video to show you all.”</p>
<p>“Oh?”</p>
<p>“I found out one of the aides filmed the shoot, and I got a copy.”</p>
<p>“Oh no,” Hifumi hid her face in her hands, “this is going to be so <em>embarrassing</em>…!”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Just know that if you align yourself against me…” </em>Hifumi’s voice drifted out of the phone speaker with surprising clarity.</p>
<p>Hifumi’s dramatic pause left the room in complete silence; the Phantom Thieves appreciated raw, unfiltered charisma and <em>presence</em> more than anyone; and Admiral Hifumi had about three times more than Hifumi, who was already a strong personality in her own right.</p>
<p>“<em>I will <strong>kill</strong> you. Where. You. <strong>Stand</strong>.”</em></p>
<p>Several Thieves swallowed audibly. There was another silence after the video ended.</p>
<p>Makoto was blushing furiously. “…You <em>really</em> knew the script, huh?”</p>
<p>“Er…” Hifumi blushed as Akira smiled knowingly.</p>
<p>Ann sighed dreamily. “There <em>wasn’t</em> a script. That was one hundred percent raw, unfiltered Hifumi Togo.”</p>
<p>“<em>For real?!</em>” Makoto barked out a laugh at her boyfriend’s surprise. “S-Shuddup!”</p>
<p>Haru maintained her silence, though she continued staring wide-eyed at the final still; Hifumi was standing chest to chest with Ann with her finger under Ann’s chin. If you’d told Haru it was a themed wedding photo, her wouldn’t have batted an eye. She was startled out of her thoughts when her phone buzzed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p></p><div class="texting">
  <p>
  <em>Ann-chan sent a video!</em>
</p>
  <p>Haru-chan: …are you sure? It’s <em>your</em> girlfriend, as much as some of the group might wish she was theirs too.</p>
  <p>Ann-chan: We’re both models; we have to learn to accept that weird gross men are gonna jerk off to our photoshoots,</p>
  <p>Ann-chan: So if you like the video, I’m totally fine sending it to you, because whether you just think it’s cool or whether you think Hifumi is as hot as I do,</p>
  <p>Ann-chan: It cannot possibly be worse than “weird male getting off to me/her without our consent”</p>
  <p>Haru-chan: That’s… very sound, yet unfortunate.</p>
  <p>Ann-chan: Tell me about it. Ugh.</p>
</div><p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p class="texting">Akira &lt;3: You looked like you were having a gay awakening back at the hideout; welcome to the Phantom Thieves, where sexuality is made up and the social norms don’t matter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Haru giggled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p></p><div class="texting">
  <p>Haru &lt;3: I will admit, I never expected to meet someone who I wanted to give me orders, rather than follow mine!</p>
  <p>Akira &lt;3: Oh damn, I just assumed you two were even in terms of being a domme; I’m just a bottom bitch so to me you’re both equally above me.</p>
  <p>Akira &lt;3: Not like, existentially, just in a ‘who is holding the leash’ kind of way.</p>
  <p>Haru &lt;3: You’re sweet, my love.</p>
  <p>Akira &lt;3: :D</p>
  <p>Haru &lt;3: Would it bother you if I were to explore my ‘Gay Awakening’ a little more? Ann actually sent me that video,</p>
  <p>Akira &lt;3: Wait shit really</p>
  <p>Akira &lt;3: brb texting Ann</p>
  <p>Haru laughed.</p>
  <p>Haru &lt;3: I suppose I don’t need to feel bad about wanting it myself then. :)</p>
  <p>Akira &lt;3: Yeah, go for it! I want you to be able to be yourself, but you gotta experiment to figure that stuff out!</p>
</div><p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p></p><div class="texting">
  <p>Lady Thieves:</p>
  <p>
  <em>The Blonde has sent a video!</em>
</p>
  <p>The Redhead: wlw solidarity right there</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I… was afraid to ask for a copy, despite my earlier assurance that we could all “not make it weird”, as it were</p>
  <p>The Redhead: bold of you to assume I won’t</p>
  <p>The Redhead: Akira isn’t here to stop me! &gt;:D</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Futaba what are you planning</p>
  <p>The Redhead: I’m gonna get off to Hifumi being a total badass what do you *think* I’m planning</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Idon’tknowwhatIexpected.jpg</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Futaba! Consent is important! I don’t think your plan is… *unreasonable*, but you need to make sure Hifumi and Ann don’t mind!</p>
  <p>The Floof: Shall I relay what you told me, Ann?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: sure!</p>
  <p>The Floof: “We’re both models; we have to learn to accept that weird gross men are gonna jerk off to our photoshoots,</p>
  <p>So if you like the video, I’m totally fine sending it to you, because whether you just think it’s cool or whether you think Hifumi is as hot as I do,</p>
  <p>It cannot possibly be worse than “weird male getting off to me/her without our consent””</p>
  <p>The Blonde: So yeah; Makoto makes a good point, though. Ask Hifumi too, Futaba; this is too personal for a go-between</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Wait, Haru, did you *already ask* about this?</p>
  <p>The Floof: It came up organically, but yes! I still need to speak with Hifumi on the matter.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: You’re the only one who hasn’t openly admitted it, Makoto, so if you do want to you’re in good company.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I… shouldn’t. Not because of the earlier reasons, but because I’d be upset if Ryuji did it, so I’m not going to either.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I don’t mind him appreciating other women, but we live in a day and age where almost every phone has a decent camera…</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I guess I just would prefer it if it were me instead?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Aren’t you worried about Ryuji being… well, Ryuji?</p>
  <p>The Brunette: A) No, because my vengeance would be swift and painful, and I know he knows that; B) No, because who would he show? The absolute worst case is Akira and Yusuke seeing it; the former would tell him to knock it off, and the latter is the least objectifying person I know. Okay, he could show Mishima, I guess, but that’s covered by A.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: holy shit, Makoto sends nudes?</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I’m not… against it? …Why? Is that unusual?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Oh my god it’s Jerk Syndrome; I’ve never seen a real case in person</p>
  <p>The Brunette: *Excuse* me?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Jerk Syndrome is when someone is so desirable that no one mindful even tries because they assume they don’t have a chance, leaving only the Jerks.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Since no one ever asks them out, they just keep lowering their standards.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: …what does this have to do with nudes?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: You’re fucking HOT Makoto, that’s what! The fact that the idea of being asked for nudes doesn’t cause a knee-jerk rage response means you avoided the swarm of douchey teen boys trying to wheedle you into it</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Ah. You’re right, I have not been asked before</p>
  <p>The Redhead: Hey Makoto,</p>
  <p>The Blonde: fUTABA</p>
  <p>The Redhead: Inbox is always open</p>
  <p>The Floof: That was rather brazen!</p>
  <p>The Blonde: wHAT THE FUCK</p>
  <p>The Redhead: I saw an opportunity and I took it! I, Futaba Sakura, was the first person *ever* to ask Makoto for nudes</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I… don’t know how I feel about that. I feel like that should bother me, but I also can’t pin down why? But it is still sort of flattering, in a way?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: I guess it is only a violation of social norms, since we’re all so close,</p>
  <p>The Floof: As Akira says; ‘Welcome to the Phantom Thieves, where sexuality is made up and social norms don’t matter’!”</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I suppose I can accept that.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: I still can’t believe you did that though!</p>
  <p>The Redhead: I still can’t believe you somehow forgot how existentially horny I am</p>
  <p>The Redhead: Okay Akira is teaching me how to be more careful about implications, so I gotta clear something up</p>
  <p>The Redhead: The inbox is open to everyone, not just Makoto; I’m not trying to rank people here or anything</p>
  <p>The Redhead: We return to your scheduled broadcast</p>
  <p>The Brunette: You really are just… *unbelievably* horny, all the time, aren’t you?</p>
  <p>The Redhead: &gt;;D</p>
  <p>The Brunette: …</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Hey Hifumi wants to know if she can join the chat</p>
  <p>The Floof: What a wonderful idea!</p>
  <p>The Redhead: um, YES? There can *never* be too many hot queer women</p>
  <p>
  <em>The Blonde added Hifumi Togo!</em>
</p>
  <p>Hifumi Togo: Hello!</p>
  <p>
  <em>Hifumi Togo changed their name to ‘The Raven’!</em>
</p>
  <p>The Floof: Welcome!</p>
  <p>
  <em>The Brunette sent an image!</em>
</p>
  <p>The Raven: Oh, wow.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: WAIT WHEN DID HIFUMI GET HERE</p>
  <p>The Redhead: JACKPOT HOLY *FUCK*</p>
  <p>The Floof: Goodness, wherever did you get those Buchimaru stockings? They’re adorable! And they hug your thighs very nicely!</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I am… *mortified* that I didn’t look first, but in my defense, there was no indication more people would be added when I opened the camera app.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: hold the camera a little higher, and tilt your head more to the side</p>
  <p>The Blonde: also don’t go for the doe-eyed look, it doesn’t fit your personality; anyone you’d be willing to send that to probably knows you well enough to know that</p>
  <p>The Blonde: I’d go with the ‘I’m hot and I know it’ vibe or the ‘what are you waiting for, come get me’ vibe</p>
  <p>The Redhead: whoa, Ann’s here busting out the curriculum for Advanced Nude Taking</p>
  <p>The Blonde: hey, I’m good at subject shot composition, not *just* nudes,</p>
  <p>The Blonde: it’s just also really useful for those</p>
  <p>The Redhead: so you’re saying you’re great at taking nudes</p>
  <p>The Blonde: don’t put words in my mouth like that!</p>
  <p>The Raven: She’s not wrong, though.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: gfljsadhkjh</p>
  <p>The Blonde: HIFUMI</p>
  <p>The Raven: Yes, my dear?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: You know what I mean!!</p>
  <p>The Raven: You’re a model; of *course* you’re great at taking nudes. Knowing how to make yourself look as good as possible is literally your livelihood.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: That’s… fair.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: so since Hifumi is also a model, she’s also great at taking nudes, got it</p>
  <p>The Raven: I would like to think so.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: She is</p>
  <p>The Raven: Well there you have it; from the Thieves’ resident fashion model herself.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: headline reads: “Admiral Hifumi Togo: Proving Flood Warnings Aren’t Just For Monsoon Season!”</p>
  <p>The Blonde: fUTABA</p>
  <p>The Raven: Is she always like this?</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Yes, mostly. I’m sorry about that…</p>
  <p>The Raven: Whatever for? This is hilarious.</p>
  <p>The Raven: I think you all forget that <em>Akira</em> was the first person in this group that I met; I expected at least some degree of ‘social abnormality’ from all of you.</p>
  <p>The Raven: Not to exclude myself from said abnormality, of course.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: hey it gets results; the Lady Thieves chat got the first ever nude photo of Makoto</p>
  <p>The Raven: Oh, was this a running thing? I’d assume the one just after I joined was a more practiced attempt then, yes?</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Um…</p>
  <p>The Raven: That was your *first attempt*?? That’s quite impressive.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: Oh yeah; hey Makoto, I can save that, right?</p>
  <p>The Raven: I would like to know the answer to this as well.</p>
  <p>The Floof: Oh my!</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Um?! I’m not sure what to say here??? It’s in the chat, so I meant it for you guys,</p>
  <p>The Raven: I am sorry; you didn’t know I would see it, and I understand very well how grating it is to have people not respect that.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I think… I think anyone who knows I’m a Phantom Thief knows me in a way that is far more intimate than what I look like naked.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: so was that a yes</p>
  <p>The Redhead: Makoto?</p>
  <p>
  <em>The Brunette sent an image!</em>
</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Is this what you meant, Ann?</p>
  <p>The Redhead: im taking that as a yes</p>
  <p>The Blonde: damn, girl! the *smolder*! I like the way you’ve got your knees bent, it brings attention to them without being distracting from the whole</p>
  <p>The Floof: OH! I certainly see the effects of Ann’s recommendations!</p>
  <p>The Redhead: translation: god*damn* that’s hot</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I don’t think I’d go that far…</p>
  <p>The Raven: To reiterate; god*damn* that’s hot.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: so Hifumi</p>
  <p>The Blonde: oh no</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Oh no,</p>
  <p>The Raven: Yes?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Futaba I swear if you make it weird</p>
  <p>The Redhead: im getting the impression that you and I are *both* Maximum Horny™ ALL THE TIME</p>
  <p>The Blonde: dammit Futaba</p>
  <p>The Raven: I cannot speak to our relative levels of Horny™, as it were, but at the very least I can say that jumping Ann’s bones *never* stops sounding like a good idea.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT INTO A CUTE THING</p>
  <p>The Raven: By being incredibly suave and dashing, of course.</p>
  <p>The Floof: You *are* very dashing!</p>
  <p>The Raven: Thank you. :)</p>
  <p>The Raven: Why do you ask, Futaba?</p>
  <p>The Redhead: i am very nosy</p>
  <p>The Redhead: also I already said this before you joined but all nudes are welcome provided they aren’t dudes</p>
  <p>The Redhead: heehee nudes/dudes</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Futaba!</p>
  <p>The Blonde: FUTABA</p>
  <p>The Floof: I feel like so far you have had a better track record from being direct; but I also don’t have much experience with this sort of thing!</p>
  <p>The Redhead: _\|SEND NUDES|/_</p>
  <p>The Redhead: is that direct enough</p>
  <p>The Blonde: …</p>
  <p>The Brunette: …</p>
  <p>The Raven: …</p>
  <p>The Redhead: oh damn you *are* really good at that</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Who is? Good at <em>what</em>??</p>
  <p>
  <em>The Raven sent an image!</em>
</p>
  <p>The Brunette: OH</p>
  <p>The Raven: I was just going to send that to Futaba, but Ann has since informed me that Morgana and Yusuke are the only ones who weren’t instantly smitten by that magazine spread, so I decided to just put it here instead.</p>
  <p>The Raven: The boys can request the photo from their respective ladies, and the ladies may do as they wish.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Ann, is this okay with you?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: I wasn’t on board at first, like, hellooo, aren’t I supposed to get preferential treatment?</p>
  <p>The Raven: And then I reminded her that videos exist, and are, as a matter of fact, a LOT of photos—in a row, even.</p>
  <p>The Raven: Telling you that part was unnecessary, but I felt that Ann would derive some petty enjoyment out of me dangling that particular carrot just out of reach.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: damn, *brutal*; but also damn, that was smooth as fuck</p>
  <p>The Blonde: …yeah, I did enjoy that. Sorry guys.</p>
  <p>The Floof: I certainly cannot hold your desire to brag against you; I talk too often about Akira to be judgmental about that!</p>
  <p>The Raven: Are you two an item?</p>
  <p>The Floof: Yes! He is mine, and I need not explain to everyone that stealing from a thief is very inadvisable! :)</p>
  <p>The Raven: I’ve never felt threatened by a smiley face before.</p>
  <p>The Floof: Good! Smiles are for enjoyable things like significant others; or watching the life ebb from the eyes of your helpless enemies!</p>
  <p>The Raven: You have good taste. I approve.</p>
  <p>The Raven: Anyway, I want you to hear this from me and not the rumor mill: Akira and I were briefly an item, and I slept with him once as well, because he’s really really hot. We are no longer involved beyond texting and occasionally visiting Leblanc to crush him at Shogi.</p>
  <p>The Floof: I appreciate your honesty! He already told me, but it’s very refreshing that you’re forthright about the matter!</p>
  <p>The Brunette: …So are we going to talk about the part about helpless enemies?</p>
  <p>The Floof: If you would like! What would you like to discuss about it?</p>
  <p>The Brunette: …on second thought, maybe not.</p>
  <p>The Raven: Allow me to summarize:</p>
  <p>The Raven: Sadism. End summary.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I… see.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: seems pretty clear cut to me</p>
  <p>The Raven: Indeed. Now, turnabout is fair play, so in light of that…</p>
  <p>The Raven: Futaba; I believe the common parlance is ‘send nudes’?</p>
  <p>The Redhead: …ive never had anyone actually turn that around on me before</p>
  <p>The Redhead: i uh</p>
  <p>The Redhead: i don’t actually know how to take nudes so i don’t absolutely hate how i look</p>
  <p>The Raven: The trick is blind self-confidence, and reminding yourself that the human brain is far more concerned with sex than physical imperfections.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: …huh. okay, here goes</p>
  <p>
  <em>The Redhead sent an image!</em>
</p>
  <p>The Redhead: i know I’m still wearing underwear I’ll work up to it eventually</p>
  <p>The Blonde: It falls to me to let you all know that Hifumi opened that photo and promptly dropped her phone on her face, and it was hilarious</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Are you two at Hifumi’s place?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Nope, mine. Hifumi’s mom is home.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: …But that isn’t one of the rooms in Ann’s house.</p>
  <p>The Raven: Oh, I just took one from my message log to Ann. Also Ann how dare you roast me in front of all your cute friends?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: who, me? :)</p>
  <p>The Redhead: …was it really that good?</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Was what that good?</p>
  <p>The Redhead: the sexy pic! Ann said Hifumi dropped her phone, which is a helluva reaction,</p>
  <p>The Raven: I really like your jacket. If you do ‘work up to it’; keep the jacket. It works very well on you.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: tilt your head the other way, rest more of your weight on your right arm, and pull your left knee up a little; play up the cute short girl angle</p>
  <p>
  <em>The Redhead sent an image!</em>
</p>
  <p>The Redhead: like this?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: yep! now angle yourself as a whole about an hour clockwise</p>
  <p>The Blonde: or move the camera counterclockwise I guess</p>
  <p>The Redhead: that’s *so* much better</p>
  <p>
  <em>The Redhead sent an image!</em>
</p>
  <p>The Floof: Very cute!</p>
  <p>The Redhead: the blind confidence thing really helped</p>
  <p>The Redhead: really though Makoto where did you get those socks and do they come in any other mascots cause I have a mighty need for Pokémon stockings, either Quilava or Corviknight</p>
  <p>The Redhead: which are both sorta uncommon Pokémon, buuuut</p>
  <p>The Raven: I feel like you would suit a pair themed after Starfire—the 00’s Teen Titans reboot. You have a similar hair color, and you both have a dichotomous personality.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: i am going to die of happiness</p>
  <p>The Redhead: i was just compared to Starfire, the character that *made me realize I liked girls*</p>
  <p>The Redhead: i am SO doing that btw, ill post a (sfw) pic once I find and acquire them</p>
  <p>The Redhead: nsfw ones on request</p>
  <p>The Redhead: or just because if i feel like bein’ all sexy when they show up</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I’m sorry to interrupt but we *have* to watch Teen Titans sometime Hifumi, I *adored* that show.</p>
  <p>The Raven: !!!</p>
  <p>The Raven: YES</p>
  <p>The Redhead: wow that was the first time shes made a grammar ‘error’ the entire time shes been here</p>
  <p>The Raven: Shh. But yes, I love that show very dearly, and will never forgive them for cancelling it in the middle of the Terra arc.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: She’s actually part of the reason I took up martial arts. I thought she was super cool back then, and you know what? I still think she’s super cool.</p>
  <p>The Raven: I had *the biggest* crush on Raven; shocking, I know. The confusing part was having a crush on Robin at the same time.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: your tastes seem to have shifted somewhat</p>
  <p>The Redhead: broody anti-hero to Ann, who is still dangerous as hell, but not broody</p>
  <p>The Raven: It’s their conviction. The time travel episode was what got me on Robin. He never gave up. Even Raven had, but he didn’t. You all faced awful, awful things; but unlike the majority of the Titans, never did *any* of you give in. You may have made mistakes; we all do. That’s okay. But as someone who has been in modeling both by my own will and by my mother’s, and knows the feeling of being… *consumed* as a commodity,</p>
  <p>The Raven: I find Ann’s steadfast courage in the face of her trials especially inspirational.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: OH MY GOD HIFUMI THATS SO SWEET</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Did you just compare the Phantom Thieves to the Teen Titans!? :D</p>
  <p>The Redhead: im screenshotting this that’s so fucking cute</p>
  <p>The Redhead: Makoto using a rare happy face, and Ann yelling about her gf</p>
  <p>The Redhead: this is a truly wholesome image</p>
  <p>
  <em>The Redhead sent an image!</em>
</p>
  <p>The Raven: I’m keeping this. In fact, I’m making it the contact photo for this chat.</p>
  <p>The Floof: A good choice! Though, I’m not sure what else it could have been…</p>
  <p>The Raven: The other obvious choice is Makoto, because that is quite literally the first thing in this chat for me, but I have no intention of making that photo even remotely visible to anyone outside the Lady Thieves Plus Hifumi.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: You’re a Lady Thief too, you know; Joker even gave you a codename. I appreciate it nonetheless.</p>
  <p>The Raven: But… I picked the name?</p>
  <p>The Blonde: She means he thought you were important enough to the operation that you needed a codename</p>
  <p>The Raven: …I hadn’t realized what an honor was being bestowed upon me.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: OMG you should get PT thigh-highs!!! The red and the black and the red thing in your hair it’d be soo goood</p>
  <p>The Redhead: heck we should *all* get PT thigh-highs</p>
  <p>The Blonde: I could be down for that!</p>
  <p>The Brunette: …but I don’t want to stop wearing my Buchimaru stockings.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: that’s fine, long as you have them; we can do a group picture or something</p>
  <p>The Redhead: also I screencapped that one too that was adorable</p>
  <p>The Floof: That sounds very charming!</p>
  <p>The Raven: I am baffled by how *quickly* I seem to have been included as one of the Thieves. I’m overjoyed, but still surprised.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: well yeah, you nailed Joker, didn’t you?</p>
  <p>The Brunette: …</p>
  <p>The Blonde: …</p>
  <p>The Raven: Wait, did I miss something? Have *all* of us had sex with Akira? Except Ann, obviously, since she doesn’t like men.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: I have the right not to self incriminate</p>
  <p>The Blonde: FUTABA?!</p>
  <p>The Redhead: I WAS A SHUT-IN AND HE WAS RECEPTIVE TO MY ADVANCES OKAY</p>
  <p>The Redhead: the sibling thing happened afterwards. and I’ve never told *anyone* about the sex thing, so im trusting you guys, okay?!</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Well, I guess I may as well add my two cents. I, uh. I may have jumped him after Kaneshiro’s Palace. Emotions were running high, and I had just had the weight of that blackmail lifted; the rest logically follows.</p>
  <p>The Floof: He’s very passionate in those situations! I think I remember him mentioning that!</p>
  <p>The Brunette: He told you?!</p>
  <p>The Floof: Oh dear, was he not supposed to?</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I never said he couldn’t, but we both agreed that it was to be a ‘let us never mention this again’ sort of happenstance. It was a good time and all, but it was *just* a good time.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Yeah, Hifumi, about that… he’s actually how I figured out I *don’t* like guys like that.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: He was the first guy besides Ryuji I totally trusted, and when it still just felt… *bad*, then I knew it wasn’t about finding the right guy.</p>
  <p>The Blonde: Cause like… I know I’d *die* for him if it was necessary, and I know you all would too.</p>
  <p>The Raven: Indeed. He has a certain… hmm.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: he feels like the main character or something</p>
  <p>The Raven: Yeah, that. Like a Fire Emblem protagonist.</p>
  <p>The Raven: He even seems to have a knack for drawing cute talented people into his orbit.</p>
  <p>The Floof: Okay, while I clearly appreciate loving and cherishing Akira—and I hate to be like this, I’m truly sorry—I am finding it difficult to stop myself from being petty and possessive hearing all this.</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Then we’ll stop! Thank you for saying so, Haru. It’s important to be open among friends.</p>
  <p>The Floof: I just feel so… intolerant!</p>
  <p>The Raven: You are well within your rights to make that request; I don’t mind people appreciating Ann, but she’s a model, it’s unavoidable. And if it makes you feel better, if anyone made a move on Ann *knowing* her and I were involved? Vengeance would be swiftly delivered, and leisurely completed. :)</p>
  <p>The Floof: That does make me feel better! Thank you. :)</p>
  <p>The Raven: Unless it were one of you, then I would give you a chance to explain, and then exact vengeance should the answer be unsatisfactory. :)</p>
  <p>The Raven: I don’t think it will ever become relevant, but Ann loves when I express the sentiment. I can see her blushing from across the room. ;)</p>
  <p>The Brunette: I was going to say that perhaps we shouldn’t threaten each other, but as long as it’s openly in the name of romanticism I think that’s fine. We know we wouldn’t do that to each other.</p>
  <p>The Redhead: unless it’s like a threesome or foursome</p>
  <p>The Redhead: cause then it’s not making a move on a Thief’s heistmate (and yes I am dying on that hill) it’s just inviting a Thief couple to a good time</p>
  <p>The Redhead: is this wishful thinking? yes. still important to clarify though, cause it’s definitely gonna stay wishful thinking if everyone thinks it’s off the table by default</p>
  <p>The Redhead: and to be clear for once in my life this isnt a horny thing</p>
  <p>The Redhead: i mean the base level interest is but not the statement</p>
  <p>The Floof: Pass!</p>
  <p>The Redhead: &lt;sincere&gt;understandable, have a nice day&lt;/sincere&gt;</p>
  <p>The Brunette: Is that HTML??</p>
  <p>The Redhead: i am committed to my meme aesthetic so instead of saying something less potentially ambiguous I used HTML tags to denote the intended reading</p>
  <p>The Raven: I feel like that should be a more common practice. Or just get everyone to write their messages like theater script dialogue.</p>
  <p>The Raven: *Mildly amused.* Like this. The lack of actual italics is difficult though, so I can definitely see the appeal of HTML tags.</p>
  <p>The Floof: &lt;confused&gt;I understand what’s going on contextually, but what *are* HTML tags?&lt;confused&gt;</p>
  <p>The Floof: Did I get it right?</p>
  <p>The Redhead: &lt;(opening tag)&gt;(body of message)&lt;/(closing tag)&gt;</p>
  <p>The Redhead: the simplified example of the syntax is &lt;tag&gt;message&lt;/tag&gt;</p>
  <p>The Floof: &lt;cheerful&gt;I see! Though I suppose excited might be a default assumption for me.&lt;/cheerful&gt;</p>
  <p>The Redhead: nailed it</p>
  <p>The Blonde: ugh, I’m so bad with computers,</p>
  <p>The Raven: Good thing you have me! And Futaba for advanced questions, of course.</p>
</div>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. In Which Ann And Hifumi Are Immortalized In Art, Courtesy Of Yusuke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yusuke paints Ann and Hifumi, and believe it or not, the (partial) nudity wasn't his idea.<br/>His painting is very well received, and he grasps what he has been reaching for all these years.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is much shorter, but it seemed to be finished, so I didn't force it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Might I paint you sometime?”</p>
<p>Ann shot Yusuke a warning look. “I’m watching you.”</p>
<p>Hifumi looked between them in bewilderment. “Am I missing something? Also yes you may, but I reserve the to change my mind when I figure out what Ann is referring to.”</p>
<p>“Ann is referring to when I first joined, when I asked her to model nude.”</p>
<p>“I see why she would be upset; wasn’t that less than a month after Kamoshitty?”</p>
<p>Yusuke blinked, and Ann laughed. “I can’t believe you just <em>call</em> him that now.”</p>
<p>“It’s fitting.”</p>
<p>Yusuke sighed. “Yes; unbeknownst to me at the time, it was very soon after ‘Kamoshitty’. I won’t apologize for the actual request, because I would hope you believe me when I say I had nothing but honest intentions, but I do apologize for making it at such an unfortunate time. I have no intention of asking you to do something you don’t want to do.”</p>
<p>“Is it odd that I sort of want to? I… actually have a composition idea, if you’d be willing to hear me out.”</p>
<p>Ann looked at her in surprise. “Whoa, really? I mean, you said it yourself; you’re a model, your body is your business, quite literally. And I know Yusuke won’t do anything untoward, it just… I can’t shake that initial disgust. Sorry, Yusuke.”</p>
<p>“It’s no trouble, I understand how those thoughts and feelings linger. Even still I catch myself longing for Sensei’s praise; hollow as it was.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry you had to go through that. But I was actually going to suggest you paint both of us—and don’t worry Ann; the scene I’m thinking of doesn’t involve you needing to be undressed.”</p>
<p>“That sounds <em>super</em> romantic! I’m in.”</p>
<p>“I was thinking a very nice, fancy chair in the right third and the bottom two-thirds—appropriately sized for me to really zero in on that ‘warlord’ vibe.”</p>
<p>Yusuke nodded. “Angle?”</p>
<p>“Whatever it needs to be so that my legs are in three-quarter profile; we can hang my sword belt over the close corner of the backrest, and sit my boots against the viewer side of the chair.”</p>
<p>He nodded again, gears beginning to turn. “I follow your logic so far; what would your pose be? And how do you plan to incorporate Ann?”</p>
<p>“Relaxed, cocky; I’m not sure of the exact details, the size of the chair would affect that. Not completely nude, just from the waist up. That implies a very recent removal of those garments. They’d be haphazardly discarded in a location depending on the landscape of the rest of the frame.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Because the action line from the top right to the bottom left will be Ann in <em>her</em> outfit from the shoot; the skirt will fill the bottom-middle third as well, but it has an angled cut, so it won’t statically anchor her straight down the middle. She should be close enough that I can reach,” Hifumi put a finger under Ann’s chin, gently pulling her closer, “but just far enough away that she would need me to support her weight to kiss me.”</p>
<p>Yusuke looked impressed. “That would be an excellent piece. I see… one cannot connect intimately with another without first putting themselves at their mercy.”</p>
<p>Ann blushed at the phrasing.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Yusuke nodded curtly, apparently satisfied. “It is complete.”</p>
<p>Ann let out a sigh of relief, collapsing into Hifumi on the chair, who giggled. “Don’t you want to see it?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but this feels great so I’m going to rest first.”</p>
<p>“I have a better solution.” Yusuke turned the easel around.</p>
<p>Ann’s eyes widened. “I’m glad I agreed to do the coat thing.”</p>
<p>The painting was stunning; Hifumi looked every bit the commander, and Ann looked enthralled, but not without agency. Hifumi was pulling her closer with a single finger under her chin. She wasn’t holding it, though; it was clear Ann was leaning forward of her own accord, drawn in by the covetous desire in Hifumi’s expression.</p>
<p>Hifumi had the idea for Ann to wear the coat and the skirt and nothing else; Ann had agreed once Yusuke pointed out that her torso need not be visible beyond what was needed to imply there was nothing underneath. At first she had wanted to just leave her puffy shirt lying around as an implication instead of <em>actually</em> wearing the coat sans the rest—right up until Hifumi had slipped the coat off and helped her into it while in-character.</p>
<p>Ann quickly decided the palpable tension present was enough to offset her baggage about the situation; Hifumi could see everything from where she was sitting, and she made no effort to hide her appreciation.</p>
<p>Yusuke, to his credit, suggested he solidify the exact details of the pose prior to starting, to avoid any accidental revelations from shifting around.</p>
<p>Hifumi smirked. “Damn, that turned out even better than I’d hoped; looks like I’ve underestimated your beauty yet again, my dear.”</p>
<p>Ann made a sound that could be vaguely described as resembling a train whistle.</p>
<p>Yusuke nodded thoughtfully. “This… may be my best work yet, even over Desire and Hope.”</p>
<p>Ann’s head shot up. “Seriously?!”</p>
<p>Hifumi looked surprised as well. “I saw that at the exhibit; it was marvelous. I’m flattered to be compared so.” She grinned cheekily. “What, are you hoping to submit this one too?”</p>
<p>Yusuke’s head popped up just as Ann squawked in protest. “Do you jest? I had not seriously considered it, but it would be an entry unlike any other.”</p>
<p>“No way! I am not cool with that!”</p>
<p>“That is understandable; I create art to enrich the lives of myself and others. I am enriched for having painted this, and I hope you two are enriched for having it. That being said, I also have no attachment to any payment the entry might win beyond what I would need for funding my future endeavors.” He paused. “Unless the payment is art supplies; unlikely, but I do not wish to mislead you.”</p>
<p>“What’s first prize?”</p>
<p>“Ten million yen.”</p>
<p>“<em>WHAT?!</em>”</p>
<p>Hifumi flinched at the volume, then chuckled. “We do say our likeness is our livelihood. Though we’re just high-profile enough that there’d be no avoiding recognition.”</p>
<p>“I could always include your names for marketing, if your name would be connected regardless. The show is rather well-attended.”</p>
<p>“…what do you think your odds of winning are?”</p>
<p>“Ordinarily I’d say one in a hundred, perhaps? It’s a large show, after all. But entering <em>this</em>?” He allowed himself a prideful smirk. “I would be willing to improve those odds to one in ten, and I would be willing to virtually guarantee at least third.”</p>
<p>Ann thought for a moment. “If Hifumi is okay with it, then I am too. I’m not visibly undressed, and the publicity would be a huge help with contracts, which means less <em>stress</em>. Also I don’t have to commit to <em>doing</em> anything, it’s just letting people see something that already exists.”</p>
<p>“And if he wins it’ll put our names in every art publication in Japan.”</p>
<p>“You’re exaggerating, there’s no way!”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The Thieves stood gathered around a painting spotlighted against the wall.</p>
<p>“…<em>daaamn</em>, Yusuke,” Ryuji’s mouth hung open.</p>
<p>Makoto nodded. “I have to agree.”</p>
<p>Hifumi blushed. “I don’t mind, but I really didn’t expect a museum to <em>buy the painting</em>.”</p>
<p>Akira smiled. “Way to go, Yusuke. You brought this into existence. This is a part of Japanese culture, now.” He gestured to the small placard.</p>
<p><em>Companions</em>, Oil Painting</p>
<p>Yusuke Kitagawa, 20XX</p>
<p>Subjects: Ann Takamaki (left), Hifumi Togo (right)</p>
<p>“The idea was Hifumi’s, I was merely the vessel.” Yusuke was trying to be calm and humble, but he was virtually vibrating in place from excitement.</p>
<p>Hifumi shook her head. “I may have had the initial idea, but the finer nuances were all you. Don’t discredit your achievement; you are quite literally the only man alive who could have painted this. Because it came from your passion for your art, and your friends. Also because Akira can’t paint and you and he comprise the entire list of men I would allow to see me topless in person. No offense, Ryuji.”</p>
<p>“Nah, we don’t know each other that well, I get it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Yusuke gasped suddenly, then looked at everyone with adoration. “Thank you so much,” he said, tears running down his face, “I have been chasing true beauty for years, chasing the <em>Sayuri…</em>” He held out his phone to show the website of a popular art publication. “Read the bottom two lines.”</p>
<p>Akira read aloud so they didn’t have to take turns. “Kitagawa’s <em>Companions</em> is a piece that truly captures the human condition; love, passion, trust, intimacy, the desire to be <em>known</em>. It truly is the next… <em>Sayuri…</em>” he trailed off in disbelief.</p>
<p>“I did it,” Yusuke was overjoyed, tears rolling down his face.</p>
<p>Haru beamed. “We’re all so proud of you. Your mother would be too.”</p>
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